Because I Knew You, I Lived
by shogi-king
Summary: A security blanket in the form of a dress is not what is needed to maintain the reputation of the Kurokos' family name. Or, at least, that is what Tetsuya had thought. (Crossdressing!Kuroko)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Here's a short preview for what I plan on writing! Please feel free to give me feedback or suggestions on what you would like to see! (also please note that there will be a small amount of abuse here)**

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><p>It was nearing nine o' clock on a night in January when the nurse carried a quiet baby, swaddled in multiple blankets, to his mother.<p>

"Congratulations, Mrs. Kuroko! Would you like to hold your baby boy?"

The woman who lay on the bed stared at the nurse sadly, and after a few moments of silence, asked, "What is the point of congratulating me? I don't even want the child-"

The nurse, who was dressed in scrubs adorned with small, yellow daisies, gave an apologetic smile before she turned to place the newborn in the crib. "I understand. Right now, it may seem like a burden. I mean, you carried your child for 9 months and went through a fair amount of excruciating pain, but by the time the sun comes up tomorrow, I'm certain that you will see the light that this baby is already showing me right now." Her slim, pale fingers held the infant's little ones and the corners of her lips lifted before sitting next to the new mother. "My child was actually born not too long ago- not even two months ago! His name is-"

"Your child is a male? How does your husband feel about that?"

"Ah, well, I don't really think that he feels any resent...? In fact, he was rather ecstatic about it. But, what of it? Is that what has been bothering you?"

The blue-haired woman nodded meekly. "I... I accept my child and I love him for who he is- in fact, I'm really just grateful that I was blessed with such an adorable son. It's just that my husband might not."

The petite medic sighed softly. She had only agreed to come back to work in spite of her son because she enjoyed seeing happy, new parents, but this was the one-in-a-million that she had always hoped she would not have to encounter. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't really know what to tell you, but I do hope that your husband will be happy for you and your son once he finds out."

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><p>The sound of his father's impact on his skin caused a tension at the table and a shaking fist pointed at what seemed to be delicate girl with long, powder blue hair.<p>

"Are you stupid, Tetsuya?! Here I was thinking that our first day into this fine, decent neighborhood would change your mind and allow you _another_ fresh start, but you really don't get the point, do you? Do you not know the meaning of 'sacrifice'? Or are you really just that dumb? How many times do I have to repeat to you that you are forbidden to leave the house?"

"Nothing will happen to me," The young teen replied, his fists shaking behind his back. "It was just at the nearby basketball courts... and I was even dressed as myself, so I don't see what your problem is!"

"'I don't see what your problem is'? Really? Tetsuya, you may be biologically male, but until you leave my territory, you will always be a woman! Do you understand that? You know what? This has been the third time. You disobeyed me twice in middle school and now your first day here. I guess that I'll really have to take larger measures. I'm calling for security guards to watch over our house from here on out."

"Katashi," the soft-spoken mother had intervened, "I don't think that we have to go that far. If you want, we can have Tetsuya watched by one of my friends." Her husband was about to reject the proposal until she added, "I've known her ever since Tetsuya was born. She will know what to do in case anything happens." And as if the woman had read the two males' minds, she stated, "She was the nurse that took care of me in the hospital."

"I... I guess we could work with that. Very well. I look forward to meeting her if she agrees."


	2. Chapter 2

It was the month of May when the young, newlywed couple discovered that they were going to have a child to be born in the month of January. Everything was in order by then. The family business was very successful, and thanks to that, the pair was able to settle into a beautiful home in Kanagawa, a prefecture that was part of the Greater Tokyo area. In fact, the company was running so smoothly that it became one of the most popular and productive of them all, just one under the ever so famous Akashi Corporation.

That was until Katashi's father, the CEO of KUROKO MOTORS, put an abundance of partnerships and deals with other businesses on his plate before he stepped down to make way for his son, relying on the assumption that his business would be as prosperous as it had been during the last year.

Little did he know that the company would come close to its collapse five months later.

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><p>In the month of September, the couple received good and bad news. Well, whether it was good or bad depended on who was asked, and when they were asked.<p>

On the third week of that month, the 16th, to be exact, Satoko had visited her husband at the car company's main office.

"Ah, Sa-chan! What are you doing here?" Her husband had exclaimed, hurriedly sitting her down at the couch near the wall. "What if something had happened to you? I can't even imagine..." He squeezed his eyes shut, giving her an embrace until she patted his arm as her shoulders shook in amusement.

"I have something wonderful to show you, Kata. Sit down with me first." She said coolly, tugging on her spouse's white dress shirt. The teal-haired woman then took out a fallow-brown colored envelope with a white sticker enclosing its contents. "I couldn't wait for you to get home, so I wanted to come here right away."

The obvious wonder in her husband's eyes resulted in her lips tugging up. "Oh, Sa-chan... Is this...?" His fingers trembled as he delicately opened the envelope to see black and white images.

"I went to the doctor again today. The ultrasound technician told me that our child is a boy." In spite of her usual ability to maintain her equanimity, her smile was uncontrollable. "I'm so, so happy, Katashi," she mumbled onto her husband's shoulder. Closing the distance between them, his arms wrapped tightly around her small frame.

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><p>The spare room in the Kurokos' abode had turned into a nursery for their son-to-be. White and yellow stripes, family pictures, and Satoko's paintings of stars adorned the room's walls. Small, plush basketballs, bears, children's books from Satoko's publishing company, and small models of KUROKO MOTORS' cars were also neatly placed in the wicker baskets and shelves. Even the clothes that the baby was supposed to wear was folded in neat stacks in a drawer that the couple had built together.<p>

Or at least, they should have been in the drawers, and the toys should have been on display, ready to welcome the expected infant.

When the woman with gentle and clear blue eyes had entered the room, everything was gone, save for the crib and wall decorations. Even the powder-blue curtains had been stripped away. Her lips quivered at the sight and she rushed to the drawers. The clothes were also gone. All that remained were the hollow wood constructions and the smell of drying paint. What had happened? She called out for her husband, who was in the middle of finishing his dinner. "Kata? What is this in Tetsuzo's room? Or actually, what_ isn't_ this?" Her hand sliced through the air, emphasizing the sudden emptiness of the room."There's nothing here."

"About that, Sa-chan. Why don't we talk about this at the table? I think it would be best if we spoke about this calmly."

When the pair had been situated at the dinner table, Katashi took a long breath and ran his hand through his own cerulean locks. "I made a mistake, Satoko. I made a very big mistake."

"I'm sure that it will be okay in the end, Katashi," she reassured him, reaching across the table to hold his other hand with her soft, china-like ones. "What happened?"

Her sky-blue orbs widened when she suddenly saw tears dropping out of her husband's eyes, the ones that were usually windows to his happiness. But instead of bright skies and sunshine, there was a darkened sea. "Please, you must tell me that you won't get angry at me."

"I won't, I won't. I'm with you on everything, remember? I always have been."

"I know, but this one is different. Today, I had a meeting with the company's adviser. And... remember how I told you and father that I'd fix everything? That I'd find a solution?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Sa-chan, the adviser told me that we were in deep debt, and the only way to fix it is to get loans, but I don't know... I didn't want to risk it, I really- all of father's hard work, I couldn't throw it all away."

"You can still do it. I believe in your abilities, Kata." She patted her husband's hand, which had curled into a loose fist. "It wasn't your mistake, even your father said so."

"But there's more to it. I also saw Akashi Seishirou today, and apparently he knows about everyone's financial status."

Anyone who was involved in the business world would know about Akashi Seishirou, also known as the old man who was in everyone's business. And in spite of the notion that Satoko was in an entirely different field, publication to be specific(compared to the Akashis' finance) he even snooped into her status. The crinkles in between her eyebrows and the sudden change in tone as she said "Oh.." only confirmed to Katashi that she knew to prepare herself for what to expect next.

"He told me, Satoko, that he would help us, though."

"Oh?" Was that disinterest in her voice? "What did he offer?"

"He... he said that he would pay for all of our debts, in exchange for an arranged marriage between our children. He said that he will financially support our family, too. And it seems that he also knew of your pregnancy, because he mentioned that now was the perfect time since the heir to his company was also expecting a child." And if his wife's eyes weren't enough of a warning, he added, "But the problem is, he revealed to me that his grandson will be a boy."

"Akashi doesn't know about Tetsuzo's gender, right?"

"No. But... from now on, we will be calling her Tetsuya."

"Her? Who?"

The male's eyes traveled down to her belly, and immediately she stood up, the impact of her palms against the wood causing him to jolt in his seat. "What are you talking about, Katashi?! Did you agree?! Are you rejecting our own child's very _being_ for the sake of your company? We can make this work, Katashi," she denied, shaking his shoulders after walking to his side of the table. "You can still say no to him, right? We can compromise-"

"No, we can't, Satoko! We can't!" His rough hands braced on her delicate arms that were shaking in frustration, in anger. "I'm so sorry!"

"You have tomorrow and tomorrow only to speak to him about this, Katashi. If you tell me anything other than a 'Yes, we have changed it', then my_son_ and I are leaving."

"You won't do that, I know that you don't have it in you. Don't be ridiculous!"

"_You_ don't be ridiculous," she managed to hiss out of gritted teeth, "I am very fine on my own without someone unfair like you."

That night, Satoko had the last word.

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><p>The last of the setting sun's light was focused on tending to Satoko's tear-stained cheeks when Katashi entered the guest room on the first floor of their home.<p>

"Sa-chan...? I'm home." There was a packed duffel bag set next to the bed, but he paid no mind to it as he approached her and sat on the edge of the mattress. "Did you eat yet?"

Her head shook. "Did... did you speak to Akashi?"

"I did."

And after that, nothing. Two minutes of pure stillness, other than the soft ticking of the wall clock and the sniffing of Satoko's nose as she wept.

_"I really want to stay."_

"You should."

"I want our family to be complete."

"I know, Sa-chan. Me too."

"I don't want Tetsuya to suffer."

_"I'm sorry."_

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><p><strong>Thank you guys for kindly giving me feedback through your follows &amp; reviews! I'm always open to hearing about what you think in regards to what I'm writing ^^<strong>

**Also special thanks to angstyteenftw and seijuurouvevo from Tumblr for helping me out with the Kuroko family's businesses!**


	3. Chapter 3

There was a night - one of the days during the week before school started, to be exact, that had made Tetsuya feel joy for the first time in Kanagawa. At first, he had thought that his feeling of happiness was mostly caused by the fact that he got to feel the rush of basketball again, but after days and days of thinking, maybe it was because of this person that he had encountered.

The young boy, donning a typical male's outfit with a beanie to cover his long hair, was busy dribbling and swerving from side to side, as if playing against an actual person.

But really, it was just his imagination. There was no way that anyone would want to play with him. And this wasn't even an assumption anymore; it was something that people had confronted and told him about.

He hadn't realized that there were people who had entered the fenced court until a voice had boomed from the entrance, so loud that it might just have been able to cause a crack in the night sky.

"Hey, so," a tanned male in a black hoodie and midnight-blue shorts to match his hair leaned against the entrance with a group of other guys with differently-colored hair gathered behind him. "I hope you don't mind, but we also plan on using this court. Do you want to take up half of it while we play on the other, or...?"

A blonde male chirped up from behind him. "Aominecchi, why don't we have him play? We can do a three-on-three if he joins since we're missing an extra member anyway."

Tetsuya, who had turned out to be the youngest of all of them, nodded enthusiastically to join, much to the five other boys' glee.

It was short-lived, however, once his light-blue phone had started to vibrate in his backpack. Once he flipped his phone open, his lips twitched downward at the picture of his father. Was he around the neighborhood park or something, too?

"Yes, father?" The annoyance in his voice was evident, the words in from his mouth very crisp.

"Tetsuya, this is your mom." The young boy's sigh of relief caused her to breathe into the phone, a silent laugh escaping. "It seems that you have forgotten, but my friend who just moved in yesterday from across the street is coming to our house in five minutes. Your father just told me to tell you to come home as soon as possible and through the back door so that if she does end up coming early, she won't see you as a boy."

_But I thought that she knows about my situation,_ he had wanted to say. Instead, he zipped up his dad's old scraggly backpack after putting his basketball in and replied a short "Yes."Afterward, he turned to the group of boys who had started to warm up and tried to call for their attention, but no one seemed to have heard him except for the shortest one with red hair.

"Will you be able to play with us?" The boy had asked, his voice rich and his stare an oxymoron. It was icy, yet it hinted at a small sense of comfort and warmth at the same time.

"I'm afraid not, my parents are calling me home. Please tell your other friends, too, since I have to go as soon as I can."

"...Oh. Well, okay." The redhead had offered a genteel smile. "I hope that we can all play sometime soon. We all probably live in the same area anyway."

"I look forward to that." _If I can, _he had noted in his mind.

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><p>The second meeting of his mother's friend was fairly pleasant. She was a knowledgeable and cheerful woman with striking red hair, much like the boy that he had met an hour before. And although the only time that she had met him before was the day of his birth, it was as if she practically knew his life story in spite of leaving out the part where he was actually a boy under the bows, frills, and skirts that he wore.<p>

"You're just like my son, Sei. He also enjoyed sports as a child and is glued to his books! Well, actually, he's still rather sports-minded. He even missed out on today's meeting with your family because he was too busy playing basketball and catching up with his friends! Would you believe that? I don't know if you saw him helping us unpack yesterday, but he's also the same age and grade as you. So I really do hope that you two will get along. After all, you are both transfers!"

"Ah, I see," Tetsuya had responded politely, feeling the pressure his father's close eye. With or without the pressure coming from the other end of the table, he was genuinely interested in what Seiko-san had to say. Although there was much that spilled from her mouth, they were all worth listening to. "I hope that your son and I will be in the same class. It would be a nice opportunity to be able to make a friend or two around here."

"Right? My husband is planning on having us stay here for the rest of our days, too- or at least, I believe he does. But he's so busy with business trips that it'll probably just be me and my son at the house," she said, frowning. Her sunny smile returned not a second later, though. "At least we'll have your company after school starts next week, though, Tetsu-chan! Satoko here told me that you'll be with us after school while your parents work, right?"

"You're right. But I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Seiko-san."

"It's not a problem! We'd enjoy having you at our house." After that, she turned to his parents, which he took as a sign to leave. It would probably take hours until their conversation would end.

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><p>Although there was not a problem for Emiko Seiko, there was definitely one for Tetsuya on Friday afternoon, after the last day of his first week back at school. When he had entered his home after walking from school, he had immediately heard chattering from his parents and Seiko-san.<p>

"Tetsuya, is that you?" The soft pattering of slippers slapping the floor grew louder as Satoko approached the front door. "Come say hi to Emiko and her son, we're in the kitchen having lunch as well."

So there they went, into the kitchen. Tetsuya was about to greet his family's guests until he locked eyes with his new neighbor's son. _That red, _the young schoolgirl identified, _why didn't I see the possibility of them being related?_

The other boy- or rather, the only one who seemed to be a male in the house, for Tetsuya's father was at work, also reacted to the sight of the female student who had entered. Although his expression of shock was as equally unapparent, he hinted at slight confusion as he greeted the girl.

And when she had responded, Emiko chirped, "Tetsu-chan, this is my son Seijuuro! I'm guessing that it's your first time meeting?" She looked over at her son as she asked.

"That seems to be the case, but for some reason... I'm sorry, this might sound a little strange, but Kuroko-san looks very familiar." And just when she was about to open her mouth again, his eyes grew wide in realization, making Tetsuya stiffen in the slightest. "I know now. I believe that I bumped into you by mistake on the first day of school. We were on our way to the opening assembly. I do apologize for that again, though. I'm sure that it made a bad first impression since I'm your new neighbor."

"No, no," sky-blue locks bunched up in a ponytail whipped from side to side as the youngest of the Kuroko family shook his head. It was hard not to contain his relief that he didn't remember him from the basketball court. "Please don't worry about it, I didn't really get hurt."

The rest of the two hours of bonding with the mother and son from the household across the street was one of much joy and laughter, along with the occasional polite giggle from Tetsuya and answers from Seijuuro to the Kurokos' questions. And the boy with powder-blue orbs would have thought that the end of the night would be fair and well, until his father made a comment during dinner.

"Say, Tetsuya, I think that you should get to know Emiko's son a bit better. He seems to be a nice boy. To start off, he's very intelligent, plays the violin and piano, enjoys sports, and he seems to be a very even-minded and reasonable young man as well." His father stared at his 'daughter' for a short while, as if replaying what he had said, and nodded to himself. "Yes, indeed, he would make a very good partner for you. You are at a decent age to start da-"

"Are you telling me to consider him as a potential _partner?" _Kuroko had spat out, slowly putting his chopsticks down to prevent himself from slamming them on the table.

"Well, yes. I'm sure that you don't have a problem with me offering a few suggestions, right?"

"Father, I... I can't believe that you're pushing it this far. Don't you see that I'm also a male? Even if I did consider it, that would be so inconsiderate towards Seiko-kun! Why do you even insist that I live as a girl? If your issue is just having a secure heir to your company, I can do that! I can work even harder at school, learn instruments, anything! Is the issue that I don't try hard enough? Am I even-"

His father stabbed his chopsticks into his rice not too gently, causing his wife to flinch beside him, and stopped eating his dinner to give his child a cold stare. "It's not about that, Tetsuya. What have your mother and I told you about making stupid conclusions like that? Just... Just wait, okay? And in the proper time, you'll know some way or another."

Before excusing himself from his unfinished meal, the boy looked to his mother, seeing if she was even thinking of helping him out of his situation. But, much to his disappointment, her eyes were only downcast in an effort to avoid meeting his or his father's stares.

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><p>When the lights had been shut off and there was a certainty that it was dark enough that nobody in the neighborhood would be able to see him, the sixteen-year-old set off for the neighborhood park, dressed again in clothing that would cover the features that would allow one to identify him. And once he had reached his destination, the universe had granted his wish of not having many people at the courts. Instead, there was only one person, by the name of Seijuuro Seiko.<p>

After the boy had made his presence known through a noisy creaking of the gate's door, the latter with scarlet hair wished him a good evening and offered to play a one-on-one. However, just when he was about to say yes, his stomach decided to grumble; rather loudly, at that.

"That doesn't sound good," Seijuuro said, shaking his head in pretend disappointment. He approached the newcomer and sat on the cold, metal bench near the sides of the court while the other unpacked his water, towel, and ball. "Shouldn't you have had dinner by now?"

"I did have dinner," the younger said as-a-matter-of-fact, "I just didn't finish it, though."

"Oh? Here, take half of my food. I was also getting pretty exhausted anyway, so it's good you came." And indeed, Tetsuya was offered half of the rice ball, neatly placed in a plastic container.

"I appreciate your kindness, but I'd feel bad if I took it. We just met-" He had stopped in the middle of his sentence, almost thinking that what he said was a slip of the tongue. How could he have forgotten that he and Tetsuya were two identities? He realized shortly after, however, that it did make sense. They really did just meet. "Yeah, we just met, anyway, so I'd feel rather guilty. Thank you, though."

"No, please, I do encourage you to eat. I refuse to play until I know that you are in a better condition. Can't have you passing out mid-shoot, you know." He took Tetsuya's pale wrist and placed the food on his palm. "By the way, are you from around here? You look like someone I know. Your aura is the same, too," he continued,"it's very interesting, your presence. Have you considered joining the basketball team? Someone like you might be useful."

It would have been nice, Tetsuya thought, if Seijuuro had said that in front of his father. Then, maybe he'd allow him to play. But, remembering that the latter was still waiting for a response, he shook his head carefully, so that his beanie would not slip off and reveal the length of his locks. "No, I... I'm not really from around here. Just visiting, is all."

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><p>Later on Monday morning of the second week of school, there was a ring on the Kurokos' doorbell. The father and son - or rather, the father and daughter, continued to eat their breakfast while Satoko rose from her chair to answer the door. Not even five seconds after she had checked who was waiting in front of their door, she called for Tetsuya, telling him to get into his uniform and "look girlier", as his father would have said, for the son of the Seikos was there.<p>

And as Tetsuya was heading up the flight of stairs and then into the hallway leading to his room, he heard his mother's voice. "Oh, Seijuuro-kun! You're here early today. Is there something that you need?"

The schoolgirl only heard bits and pieces of the conversation, but he realized that Seiko-kun was there to pick him up. _I bet that his mother told him to do that,_ he snickered to himself as he fought with his tousled bedhead. If only his hair didn't reach as far as the middle of his back, then getting ready in the morning would have been much easier, wouldn't it? He couldn't wait for the day that his father would accept him for the way he is.

_One day, I'll chop all of this off and he won't be able to do anything._

Once Tetsuya was ready to head to school, she headed down to the first floor of their house and greeted Seijuuro with a modest smile. Then, after exchanging their goodbyes with the head of the household, they set out to walk to school.

"Uh, Seiko-kun," Tetsuya offered the start of a conversation. Typically, he wouldn't mind, but there was something nagging at him to start. "Thank you for taking the time to come over to our house and wait. It was probably an inconvenience, wasn't it?"

Seijuuro shook his head. "No, it wasn't. I was actually curious about something and wanted to ask you a question, so it was by my choice. And I think that there isn't much of a need for formalities. I barely met your parents, and I already see them as a second set of guardians. I'd compare them to my relatives, but none of them pay much mind to me anyway. Nevertheless, please feel free to call me by my first name."

"I'm pleased to hear that you feel comfortable around my parents. I feel the same way about your mom, actually. But, the thing about formalities... I think that I'd rather stick with calling you Seiko-kun." After a short pause, he continued, "...I guess that it shouldn't stop me from allowing you to call me by my first name, though."

"Ah, thank you, Tetsuya." The sound of that wasn't too bad. Maybe it was okay to allow him, the younger had thought. "Anyway, the question that I wanted to ask was whether or not you have a relative staying over. The reason why I'm asking is because there was this boy our age yesterday who looked_ so much_ like you. He was like, a carbon copy. Except that you're a female and he's a male."

From there, it takes a lot for Tetsuya to maintain his equanimity. A lot to prevent himself from blurting out that it was really him, and maybe even attempting to ask for a little help again. In the end, though, he shook his head, like usual. "No, I don't. The only relatives that I really keep in touch with would be my grandparents, anyway."

Seijuuro let out a thoughtful hum. "It would have been really interesting if you guys were actually related, though. It's like you're one person." He paused when Tetsuya had to cough at that. "Say, since we live across from each other, do you think that you would take a liking in playing basketball again? My mom did mention something about you playing basketball in the past, so I was just wondering."

"I would really, really enjoy that," he said, almost too excitedly, causing Akashi to chuckle. "I don't know if my father will allow me, though. Since I've grown... I guess you could say that he developed higher standards for me."

"Ah, I see. Well, that's a shame. I could try talking to him, if you want. My own father told me that I have a way with my words, you know."

Orbs that mimicked the sky averted their gaze downwards, a silent yes to the other.

That day, Tetsuya found a piece of the key that could open his father's own unwilling heart and eyes.


End file.
